Memories of Childhood

Lesson-8

Memories of Childhood

(1) The Cutting of My Long Hair

By Zitkala – Sa

Memories of Childhood: (1) The Cutting of My Long Hair Introduction

'The Cutting of My Long Hair' is a story about the discrimination that Indians face in the Western world. The story tells of an Indian girl who was forced by her school authorities to wear western dresses and cut her hair in order to look like an American student.

Memories of Childhood: (1) The Cutting of My Long Hair Summary

The story begins with Zitkala's first day at Carlisle Indian School, a boarding school. It is a school for native Indians where they are taught to leave their own culture behind and become a part of the American culture. Zitkala describes how she felt bad when the school authorities took her shawl off her shoulders before entering the dining hall. She also wonders how the other Indian girls agreed to wear tight clothes that were immodest in her opinion because their entire body shape could be seen. Even their hair was cut short, which the author thought was a bad thing.

Only a coward's or a mourner's hair should be shaved, according to her mother. Later, Zitkala and the other girls were taken to the dining hall, where she was immediately noticed by a pale-faced woman for failing to follow table manners. Another Indian girl, Judewin, tells her that the pale-faced woman has decided to cut her hair. Zitkala retaliates because she does not want to appear a coward or a mourner. She hides herself under a bed in an upstairs room. Everyone starts looking for her, and she is eventually caught. Her hair is cut short and she is tied up. She was depressed and humiliated as a result of this. She is reminded of her mother, who would have comforted her in this difficult time. Finally, she submits to her herders like a tamed animal.

Memories of Childhood: (1) The Cutting of My Long Hair Lesson Explanation

The first day in the land of apples was a bitter-cold one; for the snow still covered the ground, and the trees were bare. A large bell rang for breakfast, its loud metallic voice crashing through the belfry overhead and into our sensitive ears. The annoying clatter of shoes on bare floors gave us no peace. The constant clash of harsh noises, with an undercurrent of many voices murmuring an unknown tongue, made a bedlam within which I was securely tied. And though my spirit tore itself in struggling for its lost freedom, all was useless.

• Bare: uncovered
• Belfry: part of a bell tower
• Crashing: break through
• Clatter: bang, sound of heavy objects
• Bedlam: uproar, unrest

The author describes her first day in the land of apples as being extremely cold. The ground was completely covered with snow, but the trees were not. Breakfast time was indicated by the sound of a bell. It was a loud sound that broke through a section of the bell tower and reached their sensitive ears. The writer was disturbed by the disturbing sound of the shoes tip-toeing. There was a constant noise throughout the room, as if the sounds were colliding. There were some people talking in an unknown language. She became so disturbed that she felt as if her freedom had been taken away from her.

A paleface woman, with white hair, came up after us. We were placed in a line of girls who were marching into the dining room. These were Indian girls, in stiff shoes and closely clinging dresses. The small girls wore sleeved aprons and shingled hair. As I walked noiselessly in my soft moccasins, I felt like sinking to the floor, for my blanket had been stripped from my shoulders. I looked hard at the Indian girls, who seemed not to care that they were even more immodestly dressed than I, in their tightly fitting clothes. While we marched in, the boys entered at an opposite door. I watched for the three young braves who came in our party. I spied them in the rear ranks, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. A small bell was tapped, and each of the pupils drew a chair from under the table. Supposing this act meant they were to be seated, I pulled out mine and at once slipped into it from one side. But when I turned my head, I saw that I was the only one seated, and all the rest at our table remained standing. Just as I began to rise, looking shyly around to see how chairs were to be used, a second bell was sounded. All were seated at last, and I had to crawl back into my chair again. I heard a man’s voice at one end of the hall, and I looked around to see him. But all the others hung their heads over their plates. As I glanced at the long chain of tables, I caught the eyes of a paleface woman upon me.

Immediately I dropped my eyes, wondering why I was so keenly watched by the strange woman. The man ceased his mutterings, and then a third bell was tapped. Everyone picked up his knife and fork and began eating. I began crying instead, for by this time I was afraid to venture anything more.

• Paleface: yellow face
• Clinging: tight (dress)
• Shingled: cutting of hair
• Moccasins: slipper or shoe
• Immodest: indecent
• Spied: notice, spot
• Rear ranks: last
• Mutterings: privately explained complaints
• Venture: here, a risky task

A woman with a yellow face and white hair approached the girls. Zitkala was assigned to the line of girls heading to the dining hall. They were the Indian girls wearing hard shoes and tight dresses, according to her description. The small girls were dressed in sleeveless aprons and had their hair cut short. Zitkala was walking quietly, her shoes making no noise. She was humiliated when her blanket (scarf, shawl) was taken from her shoulders. According to the writer, all of the other Indian girls appeared to be very indecent to her because they were all wearing tight clothes, which were not a good thing. The boys appeared from the opposite door as they were walking to the dining room. The writer notices three boys who, in her opinion, were brave; she says this because they were also new entrants into the school and were not dressed like the others. She turned to face them as they stood behind her. They were not as at ease as she was. When a small bell rang, the students all dragged their chairs. The writer also drew her chair, and she took a seat right away. However, because none of them had sat, she found herself being noticed by everyone. When the next bell rang, everyone else took their seats. The writer also did it again to correct her mistake. She was surprised to hear a manly voice from one corner of the room. She tries to see the man, but everyone is looking down at their plates. While she was looking at them, she noticed that the yellow-faced woman was staring at her. She lowered her gaze but was uneasy about being watched in this manner. When the bell rang for the third time, the man stopped speaking, and everyone picked up their forks and knives. The writer became so afraid by the time that she began crying because she didn't want to take on such a terrible thing again.

But this eating by formula was not the hardest trial in that first day. Late in the morning, my friend Judewin gave me a terrible warning. Jude win knew a few words of English; and she had overheard the paleface woman talk about cutting our long, heavy hair. Our mothers had taught us that only unskilled warriors who were captured had their hair shingled by the enemy. Among our people, short hair was worn by mourners, and shingled hair by cowards!

• Unskilled: untrained
• Capture: catch, arrest
• Mourners: a person at a funeral
• Coward: weakling

The writer says that the way she ate was not the only thing she found difficult. But her friend Judewin had told her something even worse. She had heard the pale-faced woman say that their hair should be cut short because she could understand a few words of English. The writer refused because she had heard her mother say that only untrained warriors arrested by the enemy cut their hair. Only those who were attending a funeral or who were cowards cut their hair short in their community. Zitkala did not want to cut her hair because she was neither a weakling nor a mourner.

We discussed our fate some moments, and when
Judewin said, “We have to submit, because they are strong,” I rebelled.
“No, I will not submit! I will struggle first!” I answered.

I watched my chance, and when no one noticed, I disappeared. I crept up the stairs as quietly as I could in my squeaking shoes, — my moccasins had been exchanged for shoes. Along the hall I passed, without knowing whither I was going. Turning aside to an open door, I found a large room with three white beds in it. The windows were covered with dark green curtains, which made the room very dim. Thankful that no one was there, I directed my steps toward the corner farthest from the door. On my hands and knees I crawled under the bed, and huddled myself in the dark corner.

• Fate: destiny, god’s will
• Rebel: Revolt
• Crept: Crawl, move on hands and knees
• Squeaking: making high pitched sound
• Whither: where
• Dim: dark
• Huddled: holding arms and legs closely

Judewin and Zitkala talked about their fate because they knew their hair would be cut short. Judewin believed that they should agree to whatever the authorities wanted because they were stronger than these two girls, but the author was not ready for it and decided to go against the school authorities.

She went up the stairs quietly so as not to be noticed in order to protect her hair. She was trying to walk quietly because her moccasins had been replaced with shoes that made noise while walking. She walked down the hall and into a room, not knowing where she was going. She walked into a room with three beds and green curtains that made it a little dark. She then crawled under a bed to hide from those who wanted to cut her hair.

From my hiding place I peered out, shuddering with fear whenever I heard footsteps nearby. Though in the hall loud voices were calling my name, and I knew that even Judewin was searching for me, I did not open my mouth to answer. Then the steps were quickened and the voices became excited. The sounds came nearer and nearer. Women and girls entered the room. I held my breath and watched them open closet doors and peep behind large trunks. Someone threw up the curtains, and the room was filled with sudden light. What caused them to stoop and look under the bed I do not know. I remember being dragged out, though I resisted by kicking and scratching wildly. In Spite of myself, I was carried downstairs and tied fast in a chair.

• Peered: try to see
• Shuddering: shiver, shake
• Drag: pull
• Resist: hold out against
• Scratch: scrape

When the writer tried to look out of her hiding place, she was shivered by the sound of footsteps. Many people, including her friend Judewin, could be heard calling out her name. She did not respond to them. She soon heard the sound of steps and voices becoming louder and louder. Women and young girls entered the room where she was hiding. They were looking for her everywhere, even removing the curtains. She was soon found under the bed and dragged out of it. She tried everything she could to protect herself, even scraping the other person, but she was taken away and tied to a chair

I cried aloud, shaking my head all the while until I felt the cold blades of the scissors against my neck, and heard them gnaw off one of my thick braids. Then I lost my spirit. Since the day I was taken from my mother I had suffered extreme indignities. People had stared at me. I had been tossed about in the air like a wooden puppet. And now my long hair was shingled like a coward’s! In my anguish I moaned for my mother, but no one came to comfort me. Not a soul reasoned quietly with me, as my own mother used to do; for now I was only one of many little animals driven by a herder.

• Gnaw: here, cut
• Braid: Hairs bind into a plait
• Indignities: shame, humiliation
• Stare: gaze
• Tossed: thrown
• Puppet: a wooden resemblance of humans or animals controlled with the help of strings
• Anguish: pain, agony
• Moan: cry, wail
• Comfort: console, sympathy
• Reasoned: here, discussed
• Herder: a person who looks after the live stock (herd of sheep)

The author cried a lot because she does not want her hair cut. She was about to cut her hair when she felt a pair of scissors behind her neck. She had lost all confidence and felt that she had been humiliated ever since she had been taken away from her mother. She recalled all of her embarrassing moments as people stared at her, and she was thrown into the air like a puppet. But her hair was cut short this time, and she felt like a coward. She was crying. She wailed for her mother, who used to console her in her darkest hours, but no one came to comfort her today. No one tried to understand her point of view. She felt like an animal in a herd that was being herded by someone. This meant she was now under someone's control.

About the Author

Gertrude Simmons Bonnin, born in 1876, was an exceptionally talented and educated Native American woman who struggled and triumphed during a period of severe prejudice against Native American culture and women. As a writer, she used the pen name 'Zitkala-Sa' and began publishing articles critical of the Carlisle Indian School in 1900. Her works were critical of dogma, and her life as a Native American woman was dedicated to fighting the evils of oppression.

(2) We too are human Beings

By Bama

Memories of Childhood: (2) We too are Human Beings Introduction

The lesson tells the story of a young girl who enjoys having fun. She enjoys observing everything that happens on and around her street. But one day, while observing an incident, she learns about the reality of a social evil in our country: untouchability.

Memories of Childhood: (2) We too are Human Beings Summary

Bama, one of the characters in this story, wrote the story. She is a happy little girl who enjoys observing what is going on in her neighbourhood. She says that even though it takes only ten minutes to get home from school, it takes her about thirty minutes to get home. She then goes on to explain why. She says that on her way home, she saw a monkey perform and a snake charmer perform an act with his snake that she found very interesting. There was also a cyclist who had been cycling for three days.

There was a well-known temple with a big bell and a tribal man selling clay beads, needles, and other trinkets. She also sees a variety of snack stalls and street performers. Then she describes how different political parties come to her street to give speeches. As she continued on, she noticed a landlord sitting and watching his workers work in the field. She then noticed an elderly man in her community handling a snack pack in an unusual manner and then offering it to the landlord. She bursts out laughing because she found it so amusing. When she gets home, she tells her older brother about it and bursts out laughing.

He then tells her the truth about her low caste and how the upper caste people do not like their presence or touching the low caste because it makes them impure. She is so disgusted by it that she becomes enraged at the upper caste people. Her elder brother is later questioned about his whereabouts in order to determine his caste. He then advises her to work hard in order to gain her respect. She follows his advice and becomes topper of her class. This not only earns her respect, but also a lot of friends.

Memories of Childhood: (2) We too are Human Beings Lesson Explanation

When I was studying in the third class, I hadn’t yet heard people speak openly of untouchability. But I had already seen, felt, experienced and been humiliated by what it is.

• Humiliated: insulted

The author says that as a third-class student, she had never heard anyone openly discuss untouchability. But she had already seen and felt it by that point. It was very embarrassing for her to experience the concept of untouchability.

I was walking home from school one day, an old bag hanging from my shoulder. It was actually possible to walk the distance in ten minutes. But usually it would take me thirty minutes at the very least to reach home. It would take me from half an hour to an hour to dawdle along, watching all the fun and games that were going on, all the entertaining novelties and oddities is the streets, the shops and the bazaar.

• Dawdle: waste time, idle
• Novelties: newness, freshness
• Oddities: strange things

According to the author, she was returning home from school one day. She was carrying an old bag on her back. Her school was only ten minutes away from her home. But it would take her thirty minutes to get home. It was because she used to waste her time on the street, watching all the fun and games that were going on. She used to notice new or strange things happening there, and then there were the shops and bazaars that she enjoyed visiting.

The performing monkey; the snake which the snake charmer kept in its box and displayed from time to time; the cyclist who had not got off his bike for three days, and who kept pedalling as hard as he could from break of day; the rupee notes that were pinned on to his shirt to spur him on; the spinning wheels; the Maariyaata temple, the huge bell hanging there; the pongal offerings being cooked in front of the temple; the dried fish stall by the statue of Gandhi; the sweet stall, the stall selling fried snacks, and all the other shops next to each other; the street light always demonstrating how it could change from blue to violet; the narikkuravan hunter gypsy with his wild lemur in cages, selling needles, clay beads and instruments for cleaning out the ears — Oh, I could go on and on. Each thing would pull me to a stand-still and not allow me to go any further.

• Snake Charmer: an entertainer who appears to make snakes move by playing music.
• Spur: encouragement
• Offerings: donation, gift
• Demonstrate: to show
• Lemur: an animal
• Instrument: tool

The writer describes what she saw on the street or in the bazaar. There was a performing monkey, as well as a snake charmer who could move snakes by playing music. He kept the snake in a box and displayed it on moment. There was also a cyclist who had been riding his bike for three days. He pedalled hard to keep going because he was in some kind of competition. Someone had pinned rupee notes to his shirt to encourage him and keep him going on his bike ride. Then there was the spinning wheel and the Maariyaata temple, which had a massive bell hanging inside it. The pongal offering, which is a specific dish cooked during pongal, was prepared outside this temple. There were also dried fish for sale near Gandhi's statue. She goes on to say that there were stalls selling sweet and fried snacks, as well as other shops, right next to each other. Then there were the narikkuravan, a tribe in south India, and street lights that turned violet from blue. He kept a lemur, which resembles a monkey, in a cage. He sold needles, clay beads, and some sort of ear cleaning instrument. These sights of various things were so entertaining for her that it prevents her from going further.

At times, people from various political parties would arrive, put up a stage and harangue us through their mikes. Then there might be a street play, or a puppet show, or a “no magic, no miracle” stunt performance. All these would happen from time to time. But almost certainly there would be some entertainment or other going on.

• Harangue: to give lecture
• Miracle: wonder

According to the author, people from various political parties would occasionally come to their street and set up a stage to deliver lectures to all of us. Street plays, puppet shows, and no-magic-no-wonder acts were occasionally staged in the street. So basically, such entertaining acts were on display on a regular basis in the street.

Even otherwise, there were the coffee clubs in the bazaar: the way each waiter cooled the coffee, lifting a tumbler high up and pouring its contents into a tumbler held in his other hand. Or the way some people sat in front of the shops chopping up onions, their eyes turned elsewhere so that they would not smart. Or the almond tree growing there and its fruit which was occasionally blown down by the wind. All these sights taken together would tether my legs and stop me from going home.

• Tumbler: Jug
• Tether: tie up

She goes on to say that even if no such act was performed in the street, there were coffee shops in the bazaar. She liked how the waiters cooled the coffee by pouring it from one jug to another. Other people used to sit in front of their shops and chop onions. They always turned their gaze to the other side to avoid getting teary. Another thing that piqued the writer's interest was a still-growing almond tree, the fruit of which had been blown away by the wind. All of these sights piqued the writer's interest to the point where she couldn't help but stop and observe them. She feels as if her legs have been tied up, stopping her from reaching her home.

And then, according to the season, there would be mango, cucumber, sugar-cane, sweet-potato, palm-shoots, gram, palm-syrup and palm-fruit, guavas and jack-fruit. Every day I would see people selling sweet and savoury fried snacks, payasam, halva, boiled tamarind seeds and iced lollies.

• Savoury: a salty or spicy dish
• Payasam: sweet dish made with rice and milk
• Iced lollies: piece of flavored ice on stick

In the bazaar, there were vendors selling a variety of goods. They used to sell seasonal items such as mango, cucumber, sugarcane, sweet potato, palm shoots, gramme, palm syrup, guavas, and jackfruit. Many other vendors, saw by the author, were selling sweet and spicy snacks, payasam, halva, boiled tamarind seeds, and iced lollies. So the writer was a keen observer, noticing everything that happened on the market street.

Gazing at all this, one day, I came to my street, my bag slung over my shoulder. At the opposite corner, though, a threshing floor had been set up, and the landlord watched the proceedings, seated on a piece of sacking spread over a stone ledge. Our people were hard at work, driving cattle in pairs, round and round, to tread out the grain from the straw. The animals were muzzled so that they wouldn’t help themselves to the straw. I stood for a while there, watching the fun.

• Gaze: look
• Threshing floor: A specially flattened outdoor surface to separate the grain from straw.
• Proceedings: events, activities
• Sack: bag
• Ledge: shelf
• Tread: walk
• Muzzled: a covering used to cover the mouth of an animal

The author says that after spending the entire day watching skits and beautiful things, she then entered her own street. A newly made threshing floor, a flattened outdoor surface used to separate grain from straw, stood on the opposite side of the street. The landlord sat on a stone shelf, watching people work in his field. She then goes on to describe the workers in the field. They were members of the writer's community. They are very hardworking, she says, and they were driving the cattle in pairs in the field. They were separating the grain from the straw. She also says that the animals' mouths were covered to prevent them from eating grains. All of this was a lot of fun for her to watch.

Just then, an elder of our street came along from the direction of the bazaar. The manner in which he was walking along made me want to double up. I wanted to shriek with laughter at the sight of such a big man carrying a small packet in that fashion. I guessed there was something like vadai or green banana bhajji in the packet, because the wrapping paper was stained with oil. He came along, holding out the packet by its string, without touching it. I stood there thinking to myself, if he holds it like that, won’t the package come undone, and the vadais fall out?

• Double up: laugh out loud
• Shriek: burst out
• Wrap: cover
• Stain: Spot
• Strings: thread

Then she noticed an elderly woman, her neighbour, returning from the bazaar. He was carrying a snack packet with him. The old man's walking style made her burst out laughing. He was holding it at a some distance from his body. She says she noticed the packet contained vadai or green banana bhaji. Because of the oily spots on the packet, she guessed it. It was being carried by the man by the threads. This made the writer believe that this method of handling a packet could result in the fall of its contents.

The elder went straight up to the landlord, bowed low and extended the packet towards him, cupping the hand that held the string with his other hand. The landlord opened the parcel and began to eat the vadais.

• Extend: hold out
• Cupping: holding hands together to catch something

The older man approached the landlord. He bent down to show respect to the landlord and offered the carry bag to him, holding his hand out. The landlord taken the parcel and began eating vadais from it.

After I had watched all this, at last I went home. My elder brother was there. I told him the story in all its comic detail. I fell about with laughter at the memory of a big man, and an elder at that, making such a game out of carrying the parcel. But Annan was not amused. Annan told me the man wasn’t being funny when he carried the package like that. He said everybody believed that they were upper caste and therefore must not touch us. If they did, they would be polluted. That’s why he had to carry the package by its string.

• Amused: finding something funny
• Polluted: impure, harmful

She returned home after witnessing all of this. She told her older brother about the whole incident with the old man. She burst out laughing as she remembered how that big man handled the packet. Her brother Annan, on the other hand, did not find it amusing. He told her that the man wasn't being amusing, and that he did it because we were from a lower caste. Upper caste people do not touch us because it would make them impure. If the food is for the upper caste, it should be handled with strings as well, which is why the old man was carrying it in this manner.

When I heard this, I didn’t want to laugh any more, and I felt terribly sad. How could they believe that it was disgusting if one of us held that package in his hands, even though the vadai had been wrapped first in a banana leaf, and then parceled in paper? I felt so provoked and angry that I wanted to touch those wretched vadais myself straightaway. Why should we have to fetch and carry for these people, I wondered. Such an important elder of ours goes meekly to the shops to fetch snacks and hands them over reverently, bowing and shrinking, to this fellow who just sits there and stuffs them into his mouth. The thought of it infuriated me.

• Terrible: horrible
• Disgusting: unpleasant
• Provoked: evoke, arouse
• Wretched: miserable, sad
• Fetch: bring, carry
• Meekly: quietly, submissively
• Reverently: with deep respect
• Infuriate: anger

The writer became depressed after hearing all of this from her brother. She was curious as to how upper caste people could have such strong belief about their community. She knew that vadais were first wrapped in banana leaves and then wrapped in a parcel, so they couldn't have been contaminated by their touch. She was so enraged by this that she decided to go and touch the vadais for herself. She then asked herself why we had to go and bring things for these upper caste people. She also felt sorry for the elder, who was an important member of her tribe. He even had to go get things for them, according to her. He had to hand all of that over with great respect to someone who simply sits there and pops the things into his mouth. This very thought disturbed her.

How was it that these fellows thought so much of themselves? Because they had scraped four coins together, did that mean they must lose all human feelings? But we too are human beings. Our people should never run these petty errands for these fellows. We should work in their fields, take home our wages, and leave it at that.

• Scraped: here, saved
• Errands: task, job

What if the upper caste people have some money with them, asks the poet. Does this imply that they will not treat others with respect? She says that we are also human beings who should be treated as such. She also believes that members of her community should not perform such menial tasks as bringing food to them. We should work in their fields, collect our pay, and then leave. We should never do anything extra for them.

My elder brother, who was studying at a university, had come home for the holidays. He would often go to the library in our neighboring village in order to borrow books. He was on his way home one day, walking along the banks of the irrigation tank. One of the landlord’s men came up behind him. He thought my Annan looked unfamiliar, and so he asked, “Who are you, appa, what’s your name?” Annan told him his name. Immediately the other man asked, “Thambi, on which street do you live?” The point of this was that if he knew on which street we lived, he would know our caste too.

• Irrigation Tank: water pond made for watering fields
• Thambi: brother

The writer's older brother had returned for the holidays. He was a university student. He was returning home from a neighbouring village where he had gone to borrow books from the library. He was walking along an irrigation pond when one of the landlord's men stopped him. He was asked to give his name. Annan introduced himself. He then inquired about his street in order to determine his caste.

Annan told me all these things. And he added, “Because we are born into this community, we are never given any honour or dignity or respect; we are stripped of all that. But if we study and make progress, we can throw away these indignities. So study with care, learn all you can. If you are always ahead in your lessons, people will come to you of their own accord and attach themselves to you. Work hard and learn.” The words that Annan spoke to me that day made a very deep impression on me. And I studied hard, with all my breath and being, in a frenzy almost. As Annan had urged, I stood first in my class. And because of that, many people became my friends.

• Community: group
• Dignity: nobility
• Indignities: humiliate, disrespect
• Frenzy: madness, mania

Annan told the entire incident to the writer. He also told her that because she was born into a lower caste, she would never receive respect from the upper caste. All of this is denied to them. However, if they work hard and make progress in their lives, they will be able to put this disrespect behind them. He advised his sister to study hard and stay ahead of others in order to gain respect and company from others. The elder brother's words had such an impact on her that she began working tirelessly, almost as if she were insane. As Annan had asked, she was first in her class, and as a result, she made a lot of friends.

About the Author

Bama is a Tamil Dalit woman from a Roman Catholic family who writes under the pen name Bama. She has three major works: an autobiography, 'Karukku,' published in 1992; a novel, 'Sangati,' published in 1994; and a collection of short stories, 'Kisumbukkaaran,' published in 1996. The following is an excerpt from 'Karukku.' 'Karukku' refers to 'Palmyra' leaves, which have serrated edges on both sides and resemble double-edged swords. By a fortunate coincidence, the Tamil word 'Karukku,' which contains the word 'karu,' embryo or seed, also means freshness, newness.